


Maybe I Should Die

by ughdotcom



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Death, Don't copy to another site, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 16:52:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18014696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughdotcom/pseuds/ughdotcom
Summary: Something you learn from being able to see ghosts is that death is inevitable. All you can do is speed it up. Really, that was a fraction of why Klaus had started the drugs. Most of the reason, however, was that he couldn’t see said ghosts when he was high. And getting dropped in a war zone wasn’t any better.Klaus can't deal with the pain that comes from being him.





	Maybe I Should Die

Something you learn from being able to see ghosts is that death is inevitable. All you can do is speed it up. Really, that was a fraction of why Klaus had started the drugs. Most of the reason, however, was that he couldn’t see said ghosts when he was high. And getting dropped in a war zone wasn’t any better. All the ghosts swarmed Klaus’ vision before he blinked them away. And now a general was yelling at him to get ready and fight. Well his life couldn’t get any worse.

It got worse. Klaus was in love. He had never been in love before, random hookups and on-and-off dating didn’t count. He was in love with an untouchable soldier. Dave was strong, kind, vulnerable, all around perfect. God, Klaus was so fucked. But at least there was enough weed and alcohol he could keep the ghosts away. But when he saw Dave the drugs didn’t help.

Their first kiss was a drunken kiss. In the heat of a sweaty club, loud music, and drunk humans. It wasn’t Klaus’ first kiss by a long shot, but it was the first real one. Even in the drunken high haze, and the small voice screaming at him that it couldn’t be real, it was the first kiss Klaus really felt.

When Dave said he actually loved Klaus, it may have been the happiest moment in Klaus’ live, tied with when Reginald Hargreeves aka “dad” had died. When they got tattoos the only thing that stopped Klaus from feeling the pain (god all his tats had hurt, especially the hand ones) was Dave’s loving smile. Whenever they kissed Klaus could feel his heart fly.

When Dave died it ruined Klaus’ life. He would have stayed forever in the past, live with Dave, let his family worry, because would the notice, but that one shot. Dave lay dead in his hands, and there was nothing Klaus could do to stop it. He screamed for a medic but none came. And Klaus’ life was broken. He wanted to die. But he just grabbed the briefcase and traveled back before destroying it, because he couldn’t blame losing Dave on anyone but the wretched thing, the thing that had made him meet Dave in the first. He wanted to slit his wrist, because would his family ever notice? They would find him dead and say “classic Klaus” and go along with their lives. He wanted comfort, and that wasn’t something his siblings were prone to giving.

“Klaus?”

“Ben?” Klaus looked at the ghost standing over him.

“What happened to you for two days? Where were you?”

“Ben, what’s it like in the afterlife?”

“Fucking sucks. Why?”

“Can you see anyone you know and love?”

“I don’t know, everyone I know and love is living.”

“Ben, I want to die.”

“No, you don’t.”

Klaus scoffed. “How would you know? You don’t know what I’ve been through these last 10 months.”

“I’ve been here these last 10 months.”

“Not the months that mattered.” And Klaus got up and walked away, leaving a confused Ben.

Klaus still wanted to die. The apocalypse might as well happen, he might see Dave. No one cared, no one would care. He could still see Ben. And maybe he could see Dave.

Something you learn from being able to see ghosts is that death is inevitable. All you can do is speed it up. Really, that was a fraction of why Klaus was suicidal. Most of the reason, however, was that Dave was dead. Yes, getting dropped in a war zone really hadn’t helped at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I challenged myself to write angst, and this is what came of it. Please comment.


End file.
